Tuesday, January 29, 2008

creepy santa.

I have not been blogging. My brain is currently on pause and there isn't much going on up there this week. I blame a dangerous combination of excellent teevee in the form of an entire season of Dexter on the clarity of DVD, and my old nemesis, procrastination.

Prior to this bout with procrastination, this blog had been my excuse for not doing what I ought to be doing and yet not inducing guilt as a computer game would. I figured it was creative and a good warm up to a day sitting in front of Big Momma Lou - my main computer - editing an impossibly poorly shot documentary. As an aside, if you own a video camera, for the love of god, buy a tripod... and USE IT!

So I'm back to doing this blog stuff. Shooting virtual terrorists is a sad sad way to avoid my editing duties.

Today I give you a photo of a creepy Santa while you consider how to pay that christmas visa bill.

As an adult, I find all Santas creepy. Perhaps it is a reminder of that first big lie that adults feed you, (and that stream of lies just doesn't end, does it?) Maybe it is because I'm a little suspicious about kids lining up to sit on some old guy's knee. I'm not sure, but the only Santa that I currently have much admiration for is the one portrayed by Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa. This movie holds the christmas movie record for a whopping 170 uses of the word 'fuck', 74 uses of 'shit', 31 uses of 'ass', 10 uses of 'bitch', and 1 use of 'bastard'. I heard tales of parents taking their children to see this in theaters. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I do have an evil side... and it has a nasty sense of humour.

Now I will unplug the internet from my computer and get back to it. Working from home actually sucks worse than putting in time at the office. Strange, but true.


french panic said...

Though I don't find Santa creepy, exactly, I still have a sense of betrayal when it comes to Santa.

When I found out he was a lie, and that my sister had been in on the lie to "keep the magic alive" (she had discovered the lie a year or two previous), I was crushed. And to be honest, I still don't get why people think it's okay to lie to kids about Santa.

Well gosh, no, Santa isn't real and we've been lying to you all your life. But God sure does exist. And your mom and dad still know best.

Yes, I'm in my 30s and I still have left-over anger about being lied to by everyone I trusted. This may also have something to do with the intense fakery I have to put myself through at Christmas -- pretend it's a GREAT holiday that I'M TOTALLY ENJOYING, when I just want it all to be over. Nobody likes a grinch, right? But I still hate it that so many people feel they need to "protect" children and keep feeding them false garbage. And parents are surprised when their children rebel? Please. Nobody likes being treated with condescension.

french panic said...

P.S. Putting in time at the office is NOT better than working from home. Maybe for you. But not me. At home I can control the interruptions and take responsibility for myself. At the office, I cannot prevent random fucktards from interrupting me and then staring at me as I try to process whatever random bullshit thing they just said that has nothing to do with the task I was just concentrating on.

Anonymous said...

One December a few years back, I went with my mother to one of those home-things stores where they sell sheets and towels and kitchen gadgets and candles and dustbusters and such. At the front of the store was one of those near-life-sized animatronic Santas embedded with a motion senser, so he can sing and dance at you whenever you walk by. Not expecting this, I innocently walked by and as Santa commenced to sing and dance, I burst into tears of terror much like an infant encountering a human dressed up in a giant mouse costume for the first time.

Yes, Santas are scary and evil.

Pamplemousse said...


i didn't expect agreement on creepy santas.