Thursday, November 27, 2008

blog statistics.

Recently a popular Montréal blogger (I really hate that word - let's call him a journalist. It sounds much more exciting) linked to my video of a baby squirrel. Fagstein gets more hits than me, and as a result many people clicked on the link to see the cute squirrel that temporarily confused me for a much larger squirrel.

I had a sudden jump in internet traffic. Everyone was stopping by to look at the cute baby squirrel, not leaving an encouraging comment, and then promptly pulling back out into the information super highway.

I was excited, expecting that book deal, or at least to create the latest viral video and be invited to the Oprah show to have middle aged american ladies scream and clap and go 'AAhhhhhh' as my cute squirrel baby captures their easily manipulated hearts... and then I imagine Oprah would say something like 'LOOK UNDER YOUR SEEEAATTSS!!! EVERYONE IS GOING HOME WITH THEIR OWN BAAABBBBBYYY SQUIRRELLLL!!!!'

This has not yet happened.

[Lately, with French Panic working at home too, I've taken to having an extended coffee break around the time Oprah comes on. I'm warming up to her, I suppose.]

And my traffic quickly returned back to the usual average.

With all the temporary attention, my hubris got the better of me, and I returned to my obsession with hits and page views.

Here is what I learnt; I get hits everyday for a post I did regarding the infamous man purse. So much so that I am now the number 3 hit in google images. Anyone in the world searching for a photo of a man purse eventually wanders by my blog.

You'd think this would give me thousands of hits.

You'd think this would make me unbelieavably happy.

It does not, for both.

I did receive a somewhat angry comment from someone accusing me of being narrow minded regarding man-purses and questioning my Canadianism. Perhaps my humour didn't come across properly. Perhaps that person is an idiot. Everyone has a limit. Mine is man purses. I am encouraging of satchels and I believe it is a combination of fabric, strap length and method of carry that distinguishes the two.

What pisses me off about this is that no one stays past the image. I doubt people even read the post. And it has to be one of the worst pictures that I've posted here. Is that the extent of my internet fame?

So what makes a blog a success? Apparently gossip about famous people, bad photos of famous people, bad photos of naked ladies/famous people, muttering about your religious beliefs, giving far too much information about your sex life and of course, mommy/marriage blogs.

I will not be writing about my sex life.

I've decided that internet fame is not worth it. This humble little blog will not make me rich or famous and I can live with that.

I will continue to fight the man purse.


french panic said...

Thank you for outing me to the world about how I sometimes watch Oprah. I've been trying to pretend that I don't watch it. Can I set the record straight and say it's for an anthropological study I'm working on. Canada Council gave me a grant. Love those guys.

Alexandra Hedberg said...

ah - this obsession with how many hits you get. I have it too.

I just don't increase my number since February - even when I've had temporary - WOW how many visitors - when one of the big bloggers linked to my blog. But but they just don't seem to come back after that little one visit.

The man purse is a good cause. Kepp up the fight

Fagstein said...

Now you know how I feel whenever Patrick Lagacé links to me.

Anonymous said...

Some of us enjoy your humble little blog and would be wildly disappointed if there were naked famous people.

Pamplemousse said...

thank you anonymous.

Wilma said...

Ah! That's why my blog has little to no success. {Can one have negative success? I believe I can}
I don't do any of those things the successful bloggers/online journalists do.

Mental note: run out & get a video of Oprah, naked with no makeup on, talking about her sexual escapades with her minister to post on blog, STAT!

Laura said...

Fight the power! Fight the man purse! I support you in your quest to not write about your sex life and overcome misleading blog traffic. Damn those Google image searches. They should just leave blogs out, since you can't ever reappropriate those photos, anyway. Um... not that I would steal people's photos. I like to give credit where it's due, so stealing images (via blogs or elsewhere) just doesn't do it for me, is what I meant to say.