Thursday, July 10, 2008

what's a bum for?

Pooping, silly.

I really wanted an excellent reason to show off this photo. So I have thought a while on bums, but I can’t find anything remarkable to say about them, other than I’m a fan.

Which really doesn’t make much sense, since the two biggest jobs for a bum are sitting and shitting. Neither of those activities are sexy (to me – I must not judge). And yet, bums are sexy.

I’m friends with some girls (well, women really, but they would call me a boy, so fair is fair), none of which appreciates their boobs being ogled. But somehow, if their ass is checked out, they mostly just laugh.

Why? Because bums are funny… and because even the most prudish of folks will sometimes find themselves staring at an ass and wondering what it looks like without pants. We all do it.

That’s the marvelous thing about looking at bums; it is that much harder to get caught staring. And there is an endless variety of bums to look at. Even ugly bums fascinate me. How, for instance, do the nearly no bum people sit down? Do they long for a firm bubble butt like mine? Have they never known sitting comfort? I feel poorly for the no-bum people.

So here’s to bums… Flat bums, Tight bums, flabby bums and old bums… Huzzah for bums. May yours only occasionally smell.

Give yours a squeeze. You’ll probably smile.


french panic said...

i am personally fascinated by really really fat people who have NO bum. You would think they would have a really really big bum, but no.

These ladies you know who just laugh when their bums are checked out.... how do they know their bums are being checked out? It seems a little bit impossible. Are you walking around with them and being their bum spies and letting them know when their bums have been checked out? Multi-talented, you are.

Blue said...

There is nothing more sexy in my eyes, than a finely tuned pair of buns on a male.

Anonymous said...

I read in Only in Canada, You Say that it's only Brits and Canadians who use the word bum; Americans say butt. I also read a theory somewhere that the reason breast cleavage sort of resembles a bum is because bums were a highly-eroticized part of the body back in those prehistoric, only-do-it-doggy-style days, when that was all the man could stare at since he wasn't upright yet. The pendulous-ness of breasts has nothing to do with ability to breastfeed; rather, they are simply to turn on evolved Neanderthals. Or so goes this theory. I love my bum. It's really nice.

Suggested Listening: "Love Your Bum" by Eberg. May be found on the Voff Voff album.